Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Wish (Flash 55 Fiction)

She was excitedly curious. He would definitely make her birthday special. The sharp pain on her wrists shook her awake. The ropes! It was dark; silent. “God, Let him find me“ she prayed aloud fervently. Light slapped her face. Her kidnapper stood at the doorway with a menacing smile. “Birthday wish granted sweetheart”, he smirked.

This is an attempt as part of the Flash 55 exercise on Write Tribe
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41 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 13, 2013 at 2:03 AM

    Dark!

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  2. Rahul BhatiaAugust 13, 2013 at 2:18 AM

    Has making of 'A Stockholm Syndrome'unless it was a nightmare:)

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 1:05 PM

      Hi Rahul
      thanks for introducing the concept to me . I have heard of Stockholm syndrome conditions but did not know it's name. Well that's a different angle :)

      Delete
  3. Dr Roshan RadhakrishnanAugust 13, 2013 at 3:15 AM

    Nice.. something different. My interpretation was this wasnt about wishing for the kidnapper to come back but for her saviour to arrive. Was I right?

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 6:56 PM

      Hi Roshan

      she is expecting her lover but gets kidnapped . She realizes that the kidnapper is the lover himself . This is how I thought but I guess it was not clear :)

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  4. C SureshAugust 13, 2013 at 3:39 AM

    Dark fiction too Jaish? Well written.

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 6:57 PM

      Thanks Suresh :) the topic was mystery and love and somehow I could not think of anything light ha ha

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  5. Vishal KatariaAugust 13, 2013 at 4:12 AM

    Nice one, Jaishree! Waiting for your article on the 3rd sense of the human body :)

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 1:06 PM

      Thank you so much Visual. The last date for the exercise was yesterday and so had to publish it . Will come up with the 3rd installment soon

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  6. UnknownAugust 13, 2013 at 7:04 AM

    Jaishree this an interesting story narrated briefly.

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  7. Saru SinghalAugust 13, 2013 at 8:52 AM

    Oh! That was little scary, well written though.

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  8. Privy TriflesAugust 13, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    Wow... this was awesome :)

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 8:39 PM

      Thanks me . Would love to know how you interpreted it too . This seems to have been interpreted in many ways :)

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  9. PanchaliAugust 13, 2013 at 12:31 PM

    That was a crisp one, jaish! Dark...gripping. Enjoyed reading!

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  10. Found In FolsomAugust 13, 2013 at 1:50 PM

    I don't know if I got it right

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 8:41 PM

      As mentioned in a comment above 'the girl waiting to meet her lover gets kidnapped . She realizes in the end that the kidnapper is the lover himself ' in trying to fit in the 55 format I guess I did not make it very clear :)

      Delete
  11. T F CarthickAugust 13, 2013 at 6:48 PM

    excitedly curious ? - Never heard this kind of usage before. Nice intriguing story though I did not get what exactly happened?

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 8:42 PM

      Hi hi Actually I have also not heard but I thought it was grammatically correct :) check my responses to Fif or Roshan TF . That was my version but I am seeing various interpretations and that's making it interesting :)

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  12. Danny SimonAugust 13, 2013 at 7:09 PM

    I was thinking of a father and daughter scenario.... Guess my perspective was wrong too....

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 13, 2013 at 8:43 PM

      Father/daughter ? A way different but interesting perspective Danny :)

      Delete
  13. Diwakar NarayanAugust 14, 2013 at 7:09 AM

    I hoped his boyfriend would free her! Surprised at the end :)

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  14. Richa SinghAugust 14, 2013 at 8:11 AM

    That was a rather different end. I mean the start took us all on a different ride only to watch a scary end..

    Richa

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  15. ilaksheeAugust 14, 2013 at 7:02 PM

    "Light slapped her face",a good allusion to the truth of her 'saviour'. Good going Jaish.

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  16. RoshniAugust 16, 2013 at 8:50 PM

    So the lover turns torturer?! That's tragic! A great first attempt though, Jaish!

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 17, 2013 at 12:32 AM

      Thanks Roshni :) I have done a couple of 55 Fiction before but when it comes to writing for a competition or a prompt I seem to get stuck! :)

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  17. AnonymousAugust 17, 2013 at 1:38 AM

    Thrilling tale of mystery and love. Naturally gifted you are:)

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  18. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 17, 2013 at 8:33 AM

    Aah! Now thats a whole new way of looking at it ! :D

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  19. Ramakant PradhanAugust 19, 2013 at 3:55 AM

    I would say that's the shortest scary story, but then there's Monday.

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  20. Deepa DuraisamyAugust 22, 2013 at 9:29 AM

    Wow. Dark fiction, Jaish! Read through the comments, the story sure has the potential of multiple interpretations :D

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    1. Jayashree SrivatsanAugust 27, 2013 at 6:34 AM

      I realized that only after reading the comments Deepa

      Delete
  21. D.NambiarAugust 23, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    Ouch!!
    :)

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  22. Alka GurhaAugust 26, 2013 at 1:50 AM

    Ohh, nice. Love the intrigue and the suspense.

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  23. Khoty MathurAugust 27, 2013 at 1:03 AM

    Was wondering if the kidnapper had accosted and defeated her lover and was about to imprison him with her till I read your comment. That put a completely different spin on the story. Either way, really enjoyed your dark and sinister flash fiction.

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  24. Vaishali JainSeptember 1, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    Oh my!! :o

    'Light slapped her face.' This sentence itself has a little irony hidden in it. Nice spin, man. Enjoyed it. :D

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