Sunday, September 23, 2012

Deception in Hierarchy

Indifiction Workshop is a story writing workshop for bloggers interested in fiction. This was initiated by 'The Fool' who blogs at http://luciferhouseinc.blogspot.in and C.Suresh who blogs at http://jambudweepam.blogspot.in

Detailed plot will be given. Everyone has to tell the story using their own narrative style. Different narrative styles will be evaluated by fellow participants and judges.

The plot for the first exercise as part of the same was authored by TF. Link to the plot: http://indifictionworkshop.blogspot.in/2012/09/plot-for-exercise-1.html

My version of the plot...


“Ma, I‘ve had a really long day. Don’t get started with eating my head about this whole marriage business, please!” Meghna almost barked on the phone.
“I don’t care what that astrologer says” she continued. “Have to go now. Will call you tomorrow okay. Love you.”
She hung up and looked at the clock on the wall. It was 9.50 pm. The grumbling in her stomach reminded her that she had not had anything since her evening coffee. In another ten minutes, she had to join a teleconference with her team to review the slides for the presentation scheduled for the next day.
She quickly stuffed the chapathis on the table into her mouth simultaneously opening the ppt file on her laptop and logged into the call.
As she was getting connected, Meghna got reminded of her mock presentations at IIM Ahmedabad ten years earlier. “What an amateur set of presentations we used to come up with!” she mused and smiled to herself.
The call started and Meghna assumed a strictly business-like demeanour. She had put in more than fourteen hours since morning. Yet, her concentration and attention to detail were impeccable. This kind of diligence in her work combined with her die-hard passion towards her career had catapulted her to her current position as Vice President, HR at F&T Pte Ltd, an FMCG company and she directly reported to the CEO.
The call lasted for an hour and Meghna’s eyes were a little droopy by then. She stood up, stretched her limbs and got a glass of cranberry juice from the refrigerator. She sat on her bed, and lowered the AC temperature with the remote. She placed her pc on her lap and turned on her bedside lamp after switching off all other lights.
It was time to become Eleanor! 

32 comments:

  1. Ha ha yeah Suresh , I just copied the URL and pasted :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Interesting write up, Jayshree! I loved the way you wrapped it up. Well done...!!
    You are enticing the readers to participate in the workshop...:)))In fact, I was not aware of this collaborating workshop. Thanks for the link.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do try to join the fun Panchali :) Would love to see you here as well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loved the way you have woven the two personalities Meghna and Eleanor but then ending could have been a bit more elaborate instead of allowing us to speculate the finish... seems like you are planning part 2 of the same topic.:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Engram, the plot is 'The Fool''s. And thanks for the comment. The workshop wanted us to stop with the plot at that point. As for being elaborate, yes I could have done more I suppose. Will keep in mind :)

      Delete
  5. Jayashree ,your stories are almost addictive:) Keep writing..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As I said, this one the credit for the plot goes to 'The Fool' Rahul. I just did the narration.

      Delete
  6. Are we looking forward to a second part? Great build-up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D Jas, this plot is from TF and the story is a part of the work shop. I guess it stops here :)

      Delete
  7. Nicely written.
    Keep writing more stories. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love the way you write..was visualizing your narration..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very interesting Jaish. I know how difficult it is to write on someone else's plot. And to write abt something which one does not know anything (the game). maybe I will take part the next time, provided the plot interests me but then I don not write long stories, can't sit that long in front of the laptop, you see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Bhayashree, it is quite difficult to write on someone else's plot, you get stuck every now and then. Oh Yeah! I have absolutely no clue about the game!

      Delete
  10. Good flow. Loved your take. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I read your part, The Fool's part and then the feedback they have given!

    Seems like a tremendous idea...I guess -will get to read loads of nice stories in this ;)

    Loved your story needless to say Jaish..your narration is too good. I love the detailing you do in each plot - cranberry juice, AC temperature, chapatthi.. etc etc.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I quite like the stories evolved around dark horses. I enjoyed this one, keep writing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. So, does this continue? I liked it so far..

    ReplyDelete
  14. jaish -awesomely written and narrated :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. You and Nabanit are leading the race for the awards :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. __________¶______¶___¶_____________
    _________¶¶¶____¶¶¶O¶¶______________
    _________¶¶¶¶¶_¶¶¶OOO¶¶_____________
    _________OO¶¶¶¶¶OOO¶¶OO____¶_______
    __________OOO¶¶OOO¶¶OOO ¶¶¶¶_______
    __________OOOO¶¶¶¶OOO¶¶¶¶¶¶¶________
    __________OOOOO¶¶¶O¶¶¶¶¶¶O¶¶________
    _________OOOOOO¶¶¶¶¶¶OOOOO_________
    _________O¶OOOOO¶¶¶¶OOOOOO_________
    _______O¶OOOOOOOO¶¶OOOOOOO________
    _______O¶OOOOOOOOOO¶OOO¶¶O________
    _______O¶OOOOOOOOOOO¶OOO¶O________
    _______O¶OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO¶O________
    _______O¶¶OOOOOOOOOOOOO¶¶O_________
    _______OO¶¶OOOOOOOOOOOO¶O__________
    ________OO¶¶OOOOOOOOOOOOO___________
    __________OOOOOOOOOOOOOO@_________
    _________@[$$$OOOOOOOOO$$$ @@________
    _____@@@@@$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ @@_________
    ___@@@____@@@@@@@@______________
    __________@@ _____$$@@@______________
    ________@@_______$$$__@@_____________
    ________@_________$$$__@@_____________
    ________@__________$$___@______________@@__
    ____________________$$________________@@//@@ _
    _____________________$$______________@@/@___@_
    ______________________$$____________@@//@__
    _______________________$$_________@@//@@___
    ________________________$$_______@@//@@___
    _________________________$$_____ _@¶@@__
    ___________________________$$_____@0¶@__
    _____________________________$$____@¶@__
    ______________________________$$¶__@¶@___
    _________________________________$$__¶@_
    ___________________________________$$¶ ....
    From Our India

    ReplyDelete
  17. good one jash .. wrote my comment on the post :)


    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete