Friday, November 16, 2012

Flash Fiction(100) - Subdued


His piercing gaze sent a horrifying shiver down her spine. She realized what a grave mistake she had done of venturing alone to the isolated place.  Taking two steps backwards, she turned around and started to flee. In a flash, she felt his burly arms on her back.  Before she could react she was pushed to the ground, and he landed on top of her.  Her screams that pierced through the silence of the surroundings, transformed into whimpers and slowly died as he subdued her under his brutal force.The vultures devoured the zebra carcass after the tiger was done.
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101 comments:

  1. UnknownNovember 16, 2012 at 6:37 AM

    nice twist..gud read :)

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  2. C SureshNovember 16, 2012 at 6:57 AM

    Mmm! Zee Cinema turns Discovery Channel? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Diwakar NarayanNovember 16, 2012 at 7:55 AM

    Nice. I thought it was a typical boy-girl story. Nice twist :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousNovember 16, 2012 at 8:26 AM

    well nice, apt.. especially in a flash fiction writing it is of utmost importance to describe everything which the writer wants to tell and similarly its of utmost important to keep readers in mind.
    keep it up and keep writing

    ReplyDelete
  5. Found In FolsomNovember 16, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    Hahaha..nice twist at the end..But the inner meaning, was sad..good one Jaish :)

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    Replies
    1. Jayashree SrivatsanNovember 16, 2012 at 11:43 PM

      The inner meaning stuck me when I typed the last line FIF! Sad Yes!

      Delete
  6. BikramNovember 16, 2012 at 8:53 AM

    ohhhh hmmm :) I love watching wildlife programmes ..


    Bikram's

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  7. Privy TriflesNovember 16, 2012 at 9:43 AM

    Lovely twist....!

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  8. abhinavrNovember 16, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    Interesting twist, although it was sad.
    Good writing :)

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  9. AJNABINovember 16, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Short and sweet keep writing:)

    ReplyDelete
  10. D.NambiarNovember 16, 2012 at 6:43 PM

    You did it again! Great writing, Jaish.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AJNovember 16, 2012 at 8:04 PM

    Good one
    http://ajstates.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Woman'n'BeyondNovember 16, 2012 at 8:14 PM

    short, sharp, to the point but very effective! Keep it up1

    ReplyDelete
  13. UpasanaNovember 16, 2012 at 8:47 PM

    I am in aww. Wonderful writing. Unexpected twist! You know I read your story on Google reader, but I couldn't resist from coming here and commenting.

    My world, my thoughts, my musings...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jayashree SrivatsanNovember 16, 2012 at 11:50 PM

      Thank you sooooooooo much Upasana...Thanks for commenting also :)

      Delete
  14. Dr Roshan RadhakrishnanNovember 16, 2012 at 9:12 PM

    *points at all the comments above* what they said :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tanya SehgalNovember 16, 2012 at 10:00 PM

    Oh wow! Now that was an appealing piece :) Brilliantly done.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Vishal KatariaNovember 17, 2012 at 12:24 AM

    Awesome.. Gipping story in 100 words & super twist at the end.

    Sharing on Twitter...

    ReplyDelete
  17. sathishNovember 17, 2012 at 1:22 AM

    Jaish way of writing :) brilliant

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousNovember 17, 2012 at 1:34 AM

    oops.. very interesting twist. Loved this FF

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  19. Dr. Zakir Ali RajnishNovember 17, 2012 at 1:55 AM

    Nice blog.
    ------
    ‘की—बोर्ड वाली औरतें!’

    ReplyDelete
  20. SeenaNovember 17, 2012 at 3:28 AM

    Superb. Loved the style of writing.Just 100 words and you get everything you expect in a 100 pages novel - suspence, emotion, twist and message.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Shilpa GargNovember 17, 2012 at 5:02 AM

    That's a good one!! Never expected this twist! :D

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  22. Akshay Kumar GNovember 17, 2012 at 5:03 AM

    Haha! What a twist in the end. Superb, Jaish. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. TTTNovember 17, 2012 at 7:43 AM

    that was a nice twist :D

    ReplyDelete
  24. Gayatri SoniNovember 17, 2012 at 10:10 AM

    This one is good one. I was like: "Oh no!", then "Oho!"..... hahahaha ;) :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. magiceyeNovember 17, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    Nice and crisp

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  26. HarikrishnaNovember 17, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    Short and nice... Nice twist :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. rupam sarmaNovember 17, 2012 at 8:36 PM

    Nice post

    ReplyDelete
  28. muthuNovember 17, 2012 at 10:40 PM

    hmhm..... Well, I second Bikram's comment. He just said what was in my mind. :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Tomichan MatheikalNovember 18, 2012 at 4:11 AM

    Sex is the most basic instinct of all organisms after survival (food and water). Your story reminded me of another such one written by a famous Malayalam writer, Punathil Kunjabdullah. The only difference is the ending. In his story, the woman returns to the man again yearning to be smothered under him. Well, he wrote a few decades ago. One can argue about male chauvinism, patriarchy... etc. Today's world is indeed different. But can we blame men alone for that? That's my question.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jayashree SrivatsanNovember 18, 2012 at 7:42 PM

      But unlike animals, humans are expected to be in control of that instinct. Thats y rapists are called animals , arent they? Have not heard of that author before though I learnt Malayalam all the way till my 7th class . Whats the name of the book? Thanks for stepping in Matheikal.

      Delete
  30. PanchaliNovember 18, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    Delicious...Loved the way the story concluded Awesome twist♥

    ReplyDelete
  31. T F CarthickNovember 18, 2012 at 6:06 PM

    This was a nice one. Reminded me of olden days movies when censor board was stricter and public more conservative, they would show a lion hunting down a deer as a metaphor for a rape scene. You have turned the concept on its head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jayashree SrivatsanNovember 18, 2012 at 7:44 PM

      Oh yeah, I remember those. And then they would show the girl sitting and weeping on the bed while the villain would most likely be smoking a cigarette or something :D

      Delete
  32. Rahul BhatiaNovember 19, 2012 at 12:17 AM

    Jaishree it is such a pleasure to read the unexpected twists you bring out in your stories:) Just lovely!

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  33. Prasoon KhareNovember 19, 2012 at 12:25 AM

    Love the ending..I have always maintained that flash fictions are tricky.. but you carried it out with utmost perfection.. Loved it :)

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  34. ilaksheeNovember 19, 2012 at 12:40 AM

    That was crisp Jaish! animals are preyed upon to satiate hungerbut women to satisfy the lust. That was a sharp twist.

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  35. DivyaNovember 19, 2012 at 11:49 PM

    Interesting :) :)

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  36. Deepa DuraisamyNovember 20, 2012 at 8:54 PM

    Brilliant twist Jaish! Where do you get these prompts from? Nicely done!

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    Replies
    1. Jayashree SrivatsanNovember 21, 2012 at 2:44 AM

      :D thanks Deepa . This one was from my kiddo's addiction towards fauna :)

      Delete
  37. Apala SenguptaNovember 21, 2012 at 10:18 PM

    wow Jaish! superb! i absolutely love flash fictions... and this one is so crisp n twisty :P

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  38. KappuNovember 23, 2012 at 9:43 AM

    Good one there jaishu!

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  39. AntaraNovember 26, 2012 at 4:18 AM

    The literal meaning never struck me at first, strangely. The meaning inside is very, very chilling and sad indeed. Amazing piece!

    ReplyDelete
  40. maheshNovember 27, 2012 at 8:34 PM

    Hi jaishree,

    You have been tagged:)

    http://vincimax.blogspot.in/2012/11/a-tag-post-completed.html

    Look forward to your answers

    ReplyDelete
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  43. K@nn(())raan*خلي وليNovember 29, 2012 at 2:34 PM

    wonderful twist that ever i seen
    keep blogging dear.

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  45. RajNovember 30, 2012 at 7:41 PM

    Wonderful 55 fiction as usual. You have the knack of making it really interesting and absorbing. Nice surprise twist at the end and the build up to it was awesome too. :)

    ReplyDelete
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  48. Vaishali JainDecember 1, 2012 at 11:59 PM

    Aha! Beautifully written! It came as a brilliant twist; t'was nicely executed. :)

    ReplyDelete
  49. Uma AnandaneDecember 3, 2012 at 2:17 AM

    Perfect choice of words...Nice

    ReplyDelete
  50. UnknownDecember 5, 2012 at 2:16 AM

    Well well well, a different twist :)

    ReplyDelete
  51. adhi dasDecember 5, 2012 at 8:39 PM

    good post...interesting ....GOD LOVE U

    ReplyDelete
  52. AnonymousDecember 6, 2012 at 8:22 PM

    Hi Jaish Where are you? Its been more than 2 weeks now since you posted anything.All well? Couldn't find your email id or would have mailed you.

    ReplyDelete
  53. AnonymousDecember 10, 2012 at 5:12 AM

    Good one ! Twist in the end :)

    ReplyDelete
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  56. Found In FolsomDecember 13, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    Hey Jaish, where have you been? Not seeing you anywhere..hope all is well with you. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
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  58. BhagyashreeDecember 14, 2012 at 10:18 PM

    I had missed reading this. Done now and excellent it is. :) BTW where have u disappeared?? Vacation?

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  61. Ritesh AgarwalDecember 15, 2012 at 11:54 AM

    whoaaa....

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  62. RajDecember 15, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    Hey Jaish.. long time no see. :) Hope to see you soon and waiting to read your work very soon. :)

    ReplyDelete
  63. Santosh NambyDecember 15, 2012 at 8:21 PM

    this was a great read.... nice twist :-)

    ReplyDelete
  64. DavidApril 4, 2021 at 9:43 AM

    Nice twist - you've packed this full of visceral dread!

    @BreakerOfThings from
    Fiction Can Be Fun
    Saying hello as part of the #A2ZChallenge

    ReplyDelete