This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 35; the thirty-fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "...and the world was silent again"
"No, Shekar, No!" Her tremorous voice jolts me out of my slumber.It is pitch dark and very silent.
For a moment, a series of images flashing her smiling face accompanied by the gurgle of her laughter dance all around me.
Then I remember . That night when I had to leave her behind. The absolute terror in those eyes! The eyes that were pleading with me. I had no choice.
"Shekar, Promise me! Promise me that you'll always be with me." The day I proposed, she had whispered these words as she buried her head in my chest and wrapped her arms tightly around me.
Panic engulfs me. I must go back to her.
I rush outside. The moment I step out, a familiar smell wafts through the air. Roses! The roses in her perfume!Then I hear that gurgle again.
I turn around and I see her, dressed in her favorite floral skirt and pink shirt. Her features seem to be accentuated by those flowers in her hair.
Her eyes are locked in mine as she walks towards me.
"Shwe..."
"Shhh" She brings her fingers to my lips and does not allow me to complete.Gently she holds my hands in hers. "Lets go" she says softly.
The mourners and the priest did what they had to do and the world was silent again.
For a moment, a series of images flashing her smiling face accompanied by the gurgle of her laughter dance all around me.
Then I remember . That night when I had to leave her behind. The absolute terror in those eyes! The eyes that were pleading with me. I had no choice.
"Shekar, Promise me! Promise me that you'll always be with me." The day I proposed, she had whispered these words as she buried her head in my chest and wrapped her arms tightly around me.
Panic engulfs me. I must go back to her.
I rush outside. The moment I step out, a familiar smell wafts through the air. Roses! The roses in her perfume!Then I hear that gurgle again.
I turn around and I see her, dressed in her favorite floral skirt and pink shirt. Her features seem to be accentuated by those flowers in her hair.
Her eyes are locked in mine as she walks towards me.
"Shwe..."
"Shhh" She brings her fingers to my lips and does not allow me to complete.Gently she holds my hands in hers. "Lets go" she says softly.
The mourners and the priest did what they had to do and the world was silent again.
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: C.Suresh, Participation Count: 6
Oh! That blew me away!! very very well written!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Meenakshi :)
DeleteThat is a haunting one.. excellent narrative... Read it twice to get it.. ATB for BAT :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Hari :)
DeleteTouching post...!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Anjan
DeleteOhh , GO where , she took him with herself .. very well written a bit spooky in the end ..
ReplyDeleteI could picturise it alll
Bikram's
Thanks Bikram....He himself died first, thats what I was trying to say :)
DeleteA haunting write up well described, Jayshree!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rahul
DeleteWhere did they go?! Nice narrative..and yes it is a spooky end!!! I've goosebumps!! :)
ReplyDeleteAll the very best for BAT, Jaish.
Initially I thought of adding a line like 'eternal sleep' but then leaving it seemed better :)
DeleteVery nice post Jaish. All the best for BAT 35
ReplyDeleteThanks Engram
DeleteMy....powerful Jaish.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bhagyashree
DeleteThe mourners and the priest did what they had to do and I had goosebumps :)
ReplyDelete:) Thanks Suresh....I know I have missed some of your posts...Will catch up soon...
DeleteWell written! All the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you Danny
DeleteFlash fiction with a twist and impact in shortness... Well written.
ReplyDeleteMissed your entry at IFW last time out, hope all is well with you :) Happy New Year and ATB for BAT!
Thanks Leo...All is well, was too busy with no access to internet....In fact I had written two pages for that IFW edition but could not complete... :( Happy New Year to you too
DeleteOh! You seem to have a good connection with ghosts and spirits, How else you write with such honesty. On a serious note, terrific, reminds me of your Dove Entry. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Oh!! ha ha....Actually I am terrified of spooky stories and horror movies...Seriously! :)
DeleteI believe you, seriously ;)
DeleteHi Jaish,
ReplyDeleteGood going, this looked like a F55 in long form. Reminds me of the movie 'Talaash'. Good take on the prompt. :)
Regards
Jay
My Blog | My FB Page
Yet to see that one...Thanks for stepping in Jay
DeleteOhh .. Brilliant Jaish... Good to see you back after two editions ...
ReplyDeleteThanks Amit :)
DeleteMind blowing!!
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton :) Glad you liked it
DeleteVery nice Jaish. Good job with the prompt.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jas
DeleteAwesome post dear
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteSuperbly written!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Me
DeleteKICKASSS.. NEEDLESS TO SAY YOU ARE A FAB WRITER.... :) I LOVEDDD IT
ReplyDeleteATB FOR BAT
Your comment put me on cloud nine, Thanks :)
DeleteVery poignant,powerful & compact--wow!
ReplyDeleteThanks Indu :) :)
DeleteWell written, but a bit spooky towards the end!
ReplyDeleteYeah, spooky ! :)
DeleteBrilliantly written! Quite a haunting read :)
ReplyDeletewhat a pleasure to read u again...and with a difference !
ReplyDeleteThanks Alka...Missed out some of your terrific poetry...Need to catch up
DeleteI did not see that coming (The mourners and the priest did what they had to do and the world was silent again.) I don't have words to appreciate....Absolutely mind-blowing...
ReplyDeleteThank you Tan :)
DeleteTerrific ending..quite unexpected Jaish. Brilliantly written!
ReplyDeleteThanks Vaish :)
Deletebrilliant ! abs brilliant ! All the very best !
ReplyDeleteThanks TTT....Your post on Resolutions had me smiling for some time ... :)
Deletehave a nice day.. :) I don't have words to appreciate
ReplyDeleteThank you
Deletewonderful, Jaish! I myself would not know what to write for such a prompt but you nailed it!
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton Roshni
DeleteVery well written, Jaish. Spooky....it was honestly difficult to add that line in a story this tine, and you did that effortlessly. Kudos..Good to have you back in BAT! All the best!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Panchali di , urs was simy suerb
Deleteamazing approach to the topic ! very well written :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Malini
DeleteThat was brilliant writing again, Jaish. I have to confess I had to read it twice to get it. :D
ReplyDeleteThank Akshay :)
Deletewow! the last sentence changed the whole course. Good one Jaya!
ReplyDeleteThanks Diwakar.
DeleteNice. As Suresh says you have a way with language and it comes out strongly in this kind of flash fiction.
ReplyDeleteThanks TF :) Glad to know that you liked the way it has come out.
DeleteWow.. that was brilliantly written. The last line gave me goosebump. Well done! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteThe story is in the reader's mind. You kindled the thought process ... and in the silence that followed the story gets completed.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
Thanks for the comment Jayadev!
DeleteWow Jaish.. you know how to tell a powerful story. Very little words convey so much meaning. And you have portrayed the emotions so beautifully that they melt the heart of the reader. Was absolutely touched by this story. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Raj :)
DeleteInitially I was confused; read twice and enjoyed - not the sad end , but overall story!
ReplyDeleteThanks aativas :)
Deletehmm,twists. This was well written!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I still remember your story about that actor (murder mystery) ....Thanks for stepping in TSW
DeleteHmm..Yeah :) Thanks for stepping in.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. and with impact. I always look forward to reading your posts.
ReplyDeletePS: Sorry, I could not make it here before the voting cutoff.
Thanks for the comment Kshitij :)
Deletelovely, powerful and heart wrenching!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.myunfinishedlife.com/
Thanks a lot!
Deleteverrrrrrry well written Jaysh.. you have conveyed a plethora of emotions - love, haunt, spirits all in a veryyyyy short post!
ReplyDeleteDo visit my post "Oblivion"! Would love to see you by! *cheers*
Thank you Kappu... Will surely visit!
Delete