Friday, November 16, 2012

Flash Fiction(100) - Subdued


His piercing gaze sent a horrifying shiver down her spine. She realized what a grave mistake she had done of venturing alone to the isolated place.  Taking two steps backwards, she turned around and started to flee. In a flash, she felt his burly arms on her back.  Before she could react she was pushed to the ground, and he landed on top of her.  Her screams that pierced through the silence of the surroundings, transformed into whimpers and slowly died as he subdued her under his brutal force.The vultures devoured the zebra carcass after the tiger was done.

101 comments:

  1. Mmm! Zee Cinema turns Discovery Channel? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice. I thought it was a typical boy-girl story. Nice twist :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. well nice, apt.. especially in a flash fiction writing it is of utmost importance to describe everything which the writer wants to tell and similarly its of utmost important to keep readers in mind.
    keep it up and keep writing

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahaha..nice twist at the end..But the inner meaning, was sad..good one Jaish :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The inner meaning stuck me when I typed the last line FIF! Sad Yes!

      Delete
  5. ohhhh hmmm :) I love watching wildlife programmes ..


    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
  6. Interesting twist, although it was sad.
    Good writing :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. You did it again! Great writing, Jaish.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good one
    http://ajstates.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. short, sharp, to the point but very effective! Keep it up1

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am in aww. Wonderful writing. Unexpected twist! You know I read your story on Google reader, but I couldn't resist from coming here and commenting.

    My world, my thoughts, my musings...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you sooooooooo much Upasana...Thanks for commenting also :)

      Delete
  11. *points at all the comments above* what they said :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh wow! Now that was an appealing piece :) Brilliantly done.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Awesome.. Gipping story in 100 words & super twist at the end.

    Sharing on Twitter...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jaish way of writing :) brilliant

    ReplyDelete
  15. oops.. very interesting twist. Loved this FF

    ReplyDelete
  16. Superb. Loved the style of writing.Just 100 words and you get everything you expect in a 100 pages novel - suspence, emotion, twist and message.

    ReplyDelete
  17. That's a good one!! Never expected this twist! :D

    ReplyDelete
  18. Haha! What a twist in the end. Superb, Jaish. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. This one is good one. I was like: "Oh no!", then "Oho!"..... hahahaha ;) :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. hmhm..... Well, I second Bikram's comment. He just said what was in my mind. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sex is the most basic instinct of all organisms after survival (food and water). Your story reminded me of another such one written by a famous Malayalam writer, Punathil Kunjabdullah. The only difference is the ending. In his story, the woman returns to the man again yearning to be smothered under him. Well, he wrote a few decades ago. One can argue about male chauvinism, patriarchy... etc. Today's world is indeed different. But can we blame men alone for that? That's my question.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But unlike animals, humans are expected to be in control of that instinct. Thats y rapists are called animals , arent they? Have not heard of that author before though I learnt Malayalam all the way till my 7th class . Whats the name of the book? Thanks for stepping in Matheikal.

      Delete
  22. Delicious...Loved the way the story concluded Awesome twist♥

    ReplyDelete
  23. This was a nice one. Reminded me of olden days movies when censor board was stricter and public more conservative, they would show a lion hunting down a deer as a metaphor for a rape scene. You have turned the concept on its head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, I remember those. And then they would show the girl sitting and weeping on the bed while the villain would most likely be smoking a cigarette or something :D

      Delete
  24. Jaishree it is such a pleasure to read the unexpected twists you bring out in your stories:) Just lovely!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love the ending..I have always maintained that flash fictions are tricky.. but you carried it out with utmost perfection.. Loved it :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. That was crisp Jaish! animals are preyed upon to satiate hungerbut women to satisfy the lust. That was a sharp twist.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Brilliant twist Jaish! Where do you get these prompts from? Nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D thanks Deepa . This one was from my kiddo's addiction towards fauna :)

      Delete
  28. wow Jaish! superb! i absolutely love flash fictions... and this one is so crisp n twisty :P

    ReplyDelete
  29. The literal meaning never struck me at first, strangely. The meaning inside is very, very chilling and sad indeed. Amazing piece!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi jaishree,

    You have been tagged:)

    http://vincimax.blogspot.in/2012/11/a-tag-post-completed.html

    Look forward to your answers

    ReplyDelete
  31. I do not even know the way I finished up right here,
    but I assumed this submit used to be great.
    I don't recognize who you are but certainly you're going to a
    famous blogger when you aren't already. Cheers!
    My page - Work from home

    ReplyDelete
  32. I was suggested this web site by way of my cousin. I'm now not positive whether this publish is written by him as nobody else recognise such distinctive about my problem. You are wonderful! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  33. My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different web page and thought I may as well check things out.
    I like what I see so now i'm following you. Look forward to looking at your web page yet again.
    My page > Work from home

    ReplyDelete
  34. Wonderful 55 fiction as usual. You have the knack of making it really interesting and absorbing. Nice surprise twist at the end and the build up to it was awesome too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. What's Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely useful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to contribute & assist other users like its helped me. Great job.
    Here is my web site ; my computer is slow

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hello my loved one! I want to say that this article is
    amazing, nice written and come with approximately all important infos.

    I'd like to look more posts like this .
    Here is my webpage ; yourtobaccosstore.com

    ReplyDelete
  37. Aha! Beautifully written! It came as a brilliant twist; t'was nicely executed. :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Well well well, a different twist :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. good post...interesting ....GOD LOVE U

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hi Jaish Where are you? Its been more than 2 weeks now since you posted anything.All well? Couldn't find your email id or would have mailed you.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Good one ! Twist in the end :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Wow!! That was a good one!!!
    By the way, in appreciation of my readers and commentors, I posted this today: http://www.bigaandlittlea.com/2012/12/top-commentors.html. Do come over and check it out!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Actually no matter if someone doesn't be aware of after that its up to other people that they will assist, so here it occurs.
    My web site ... golden Virginia

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hey Jaish, where have you been? Not seeing you anywhere..hope all is well with you. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I
    could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having trouble finding
    one? Thanks a lot!
    My web blog - golden virginia tobacco usa

    ReplyDelete
  46. I had missed reading this. Done now and excellent it is. :) BTW where have u disappeared?? Vacation?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Paragraph writing is also a excitement, if you be acquainted with then you can
    write or else it is complicated to write.
    Feel free to visit my site : van nelle zware

    ReplyDelete
  48. Good day very cool site!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Wonderful .

    . I will bookmark your website and take the feeds additionally?
    I'm glad to find numerous useful information right here within the put up, we need work out extra strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
    Also see my web page: mac baren 7 seas

    ReplyDelete
  49. Hey Jaish.. long time no see. :) Hope to see you soon and waiting to read your work very soon. :)

    ReplyDelete
  50. this was a great read.... nice twist :-)

    ReplyDelete
  51. Nice twist - you've packed this full of visceral dread!

    @BreakerOfThings from
    Fiction Can Be Fun
    Saying hello as part of the #A2ZChallenge

    ReplyDelete