In Memory of my Appa....

I lost my father one year ago on 27th Apr 2011. Cliched but true, time flies.

I remember the day when he was in the ICU of Appollo hospitals after having suffered two heart attacks. He had ventilators and other tubes running through his mouth and nose due to which he could not talk. The rest of the family was allowed half an hour's visit during which he communicated to us writing on a piece of paper. He wrote 'My daughter is my life and soul'. That was in 2009.After a by-pass surgery he was with us for a year and a half.

Today as I write this I keep getting reminded of that day. In memory of my Appa, I dont know whether to call it poetry or prose - I just wrote what I felt like

 The hands that held me
The day I first cried
Are gone !
The eyes that cautiously monitored
My steps tiny and big
And always welled up, manliness aside
Every time I had to depart
Are gone !
Advice ,Comfort ,Wishes, Blessings
The voice that gave it all
Is gone !
I lean back and I fall
As my pillar of strength
Is gone !
My Inspiration,
My Role Model,
My Friend, Philosopher, Guide
All Gone!
I miss you pa,
I miss you terribly;
There's nothing I can do.
I am helpless,sad,frustrated;
There is a void inside,
Very deep!
Its very painful;
Nothing can seem to fill it.
Every man loves his daughter-
But no man can shower
Any more love than what you did.
I look back and I see
An epitome
Of selflessness and unconditional affection

It hurts that you are no more around
To talk, to laugh, to joke, to hug!
It hurts that you are no more around
To watch my child laugh and play!
It hurts that you are no more around
To beam in pride at the tiniest of my achievements!
It hurts that you are no more around
And I dont need a reason. It just hurts!


What do I do pa?
I scream, I cry!

'Jai, Kutti' I hear an imperceptible voice
Its inside of me, its my dad - To me;

'I am still there

I am in
Every cloud that adorns the sky;
Every butterfly that flutters by;
Every gentle breeze brushing your face;
Every ray of sunshine enclosing you in warmth
Every dew drop that kisses you;
Every breath you inhale;
Every flower that smiles at you;
Every fragrance that wafts in the air;

I am there!
Always around -
Caring , Loving , Protecting'.

Wishing my Appa peace and bliss wherever he is, in whatever form!!!

I love you appa!