Diplomat at home

Its been ages since I wrote a post on the naughty little brat I have at home a.k.a my son, just a few months away from his fifth birthday now.

I quit my job last year and have been a full time SAHM (Stay at home mom) for some time now. I think I have now developed an intuition for those moments when his quests for worldly knowledge, his inquisitiveness and his creativity make him do things that would make me go "Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!! Oh My Gooooooooddddddd" with a lot of huffing-puffing anger directed towards our common creator in the heavens above.

Like when he opens the fridge and mixes the juice in the water bottles ; or tip toes to the bathroom, fills the basin and empties the hand soap in it in an attempt to bathe his plastic lion and tiger; or silently creeps to my dresser, takes my kohl and nail polishes out and does some art work on the wood.

My intuition is actually facilitated by those moments of absolute silence and quiet like a calm before the storm when he is really engrossed in some activity like the above. (He is oblivious to the big wide world around when concentrating, a trait supposed to have transferred from my genes.)

With my intuitive sensors sending out blaring alarms I would get up and go looking for him with a 'V , What are you doing?'

He would come dashing out, then slow down his pace and nonchalantly walk past me with his hands at his back, like going out on a stroll. Sporting the cutest of his smiles he would say 'Nothing!' with an air of reassurance. From past experiences I am perfectly aware that it's synonymous to 'Something is really wrong!'.

I would step forward to go to where he came from and he would put both hands on mine, stop me and say "Amma, dont go there. You stay here" and point to the sofa. That translates to 'Something is definitely really really REALLY wrong.'

I would pray to the Gods for the damages to be within my resilient boundaries and also for oodles of patience. Once I find out what he has done I would go on with my usual. 'I told you that you should not do this. Amma is really angry V' blah blah blah.

He would run off to his room and try to do something for a few minutes after which he would slowly approach me. He would sense that I am still upset and come near me and ask "Amma , are you happy?". My look would remain stern and then he would edge closer to my face and ask again "Amma, are you HAPPY?" with a lot of stress on the last word.

He would whip up an expression hosting the entire innocence existing on the planet and say  'I am sorry Amma. I can't do that.' After two seconds he would ask again 'Are you happy?'

Mind you , he knows the perfect tone to use; the right mix of childish innocence and sympathy.

Then he would hold the ends of his lips with his fingers, pull them upwards to imitate a happy smiley and say "Amma, be like this!"

As a final measure he would fling his arms around me, give me a peck on my cheek and say "I love you too Amma." . Now, after a high dose of a super effective drug like that, how could I not smile and ruffle his hair. "Dont do that again, ok?" and he would nod vigorously like its an oath for life. But both of us know that storms and the calm before that don't come only once.  "Are you happy?" he would ask again just to double check that peace has been restored!

I have a diplomat at home!

Falling in love - A social taboo?

I recently saw a talk show on TV between some couples who had eloped and married on one side and their parents on the other.

One such parent, a teacher, mentioned that to vent their anger against their daughter, she along with her husband had burnt all her educational certificates from LKG till degree. The girl in question happens to be a BTech graduate. The mother said this with absolutely no remorse as if it was a totally justified act. She also said that they had totally cut off all relations with their daughter.

There are two things that are really hard hitting here.

One - There are still a lot of communities in India where parents cannot accept their wards choosing their life partners on their own accord. This woman said that she had faced extreme humiliations in her neighbourhood and relative circles when her daughter ran away with the man of her choice. There are families where the youngsters do not discuss such matters openly with their parents and are not given the liberty to do so. Even if they did, they would be chastised for tarnishing the family name. No opportunity would be given to make their point. Immediate steps would be taken to somehow find an alternative bride or groom within their community and marry them off. Parental egos and so called social image would hold high and the young couple would be forced to take measures like eloping and marrying. Of course, movies, media etc. do misguide the youth and in some cases the decision they take is a little rash and immature without any proper attempts to convince their not-so-conservative parents. On one side we have places where even live-in relationships are accepted with dignity. On the other side we still have places and communities like these where 'falling in love' is like a crime or an antisocial act. There is definitely a small percent of cases where men with no moral intentions lure girls in the name of love and then exploit them and leave them stranded. Without taking these into consideration, some communities have a long way to go to stop treating unarranged relationships as a taboo.

Two - This lady was a teacher. This is the quality of teachers that teach in our schools. Teachers impart 50% academic knowledge and 50% life and social skills. What kind of social lessons or life lessons would such a person impart to the kids? Who gives her the right to destroy her daughter's future in the name of anger or revenge? What kind of example would she set to her students and how narrow-mindedly would she view the camaraderie between her own students if they belong to the opposite sexes?

Somehow the latter point above troubles me more.

Happy Senses - 3

Any more absence from me and people might conclude that I have actually lost one of the senses about whom I have been blabbering away in this series.

You can see the first two at Happy Senses -1 and Happy Senses - 2

Taste:

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After a long and arduous journey, the first sight of food would fill one with a kind of bliss. Be it a simple roti dal at a roadside dhaba, idly chutney sold on a cart or a table laden with an array of home cooked items.Food that reaches and satisfies one at the hungriest of hours is the tastiest on earth. 

A cup of coffee my husband makes after forcing me to sit and take a break from the household work, the single grape my son pops into my mouth, the bowl of curd rice my father used to bring to my room during the uncomfortable days of my pregnancy, every meal my mom prepares with gusto each time I visit her - When love gets mixed, food always becomes delicious.

The cup of steaming tea on the highest points of Ooty or Kodaikanal, hot crispy molagai bajjis(chilli pakoras) on a rainy evening, A lick of that icecream or a bite of that watermelon slice after being out in the scorching sun - Weather and surroundings have a huge impact on the taste buds.

I have always been a foodie, a vegetarian one though. Food is something man has been experimenting with, since time immemorial and we have a million varieties under the sun . In todays globalized world we need a lifetime to try out all thats available - Indian, Italian, Lebanese, American, Mexican, Thai, African, Japanese, Chinese - Sweet, Spicy, Hot, Sour, Hot, Cold, Bitter!. Being healthy, eating it right is definitely good. But every now and then, one does need to indulge, immerse and relish. After all we live to eat don't we? Once in a while say good bye to that no-carb, no-fat diet and pop some pani puris in. Your system deserves it.

Touch:

Image courtesy of twobee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

At a function or in general, whenever an elder touches me on my head to wish me good and bless me, it gives me a feeling of being loved , cared for and protected.

A hug, a pat, a tap, a hold, a kiss any expression of affection is amazing. That's why perhaps the emotion is called being touched.

In our marriages we have a practice where the bride has to hold her fingers like a closed lotus and the groom would be asked to hold it and not let go till all rituals are over. Its a lovely symbolic representation of the life long promise to love, share,care and safe guard.

At the end of an exhausted day, sitting next to a loved one and dozing off leaning on their shoulder - one of the simple nice things in life.

The most cherished touch I have had is something my unfortunate male friends will never get to experience. Every time I felt the baby in my womb move or kick . I don't even know if it can be classified as touch but its an extraordinary and a beautiful feeling indeed.

Our touch can make a huge difference in so many lives. A simple pat on the head to a boy acting as a waiter at the small restaurant, holding a blind person while helping her get aboard a bud, helping an injured sick relative to move lending him a shoulder support, handing out books to some poor kids- These are very mediocre examples that came popping in my head. A touch can go a very long way in adding a new meaning to people's lives.  The first and strongest expression of love and affection is nothing but a simple touch.

Wish (Flash 55 Fiction)

She was excitedly curious. He would definitely make her birthday special. The sharp pain on her wrists shook her awake. The ropes! It was dark; silent. “God, Let him find me“ she prayed aloud fervently. Light slapped her face. Her kidnapper stood at the doorway with a menacing smile. “Birthday wish granted sweetheart”, he smirked.

This is an attempt as part of the Flash 55 exercise on Write Tribe

Happy Senses - 2

This is a continuation of my earlier post Happy Senses 1. For those who have not read it, basically I am trying to list things that have a deep impact on me with respect to each of the five senses.

Hearing:

Image courtesy of OhMega1982 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

• The sounds of nature are the most musical notes on the planet and a rarity in the mad rush of the cities.If one moves a little away from the hustle bustle of the concrete jungle to where there is more greenery the symphony of birds would permeate the air as the sun rises.A myriad of tweets and coos hits our ears as we just peep our heads out of the covers. The world wakes up to tweets these days but on twitter. We need to stop and listen to the real ones for a change!
• Have you witnessed a small infant or toddler breaking into peals of laughter on something that to us adults would be a totally mundane thing or occurrence. The gurgle of their innocent laughter has a rippling effect and would lift the spirits of all around. Small things like these make life worth living.
• Imagine a serene clear green lake surrounded by the mystic mountains. One should opt for the yet to be commercially exploited ones where tranquility would hold fort. In the pleasant misty weather, the small waves would gently kiss the lake shore. One should take a boat ride on a non-motorized vehicle. The water speaks to us each time the boatman's paddle slices through the gleaming ripples. Apart from that silence pervades; A quiet peace.
• I have a fascination for wind chimes. In a gently blowing breeze, the soft tinkling notes they disperse in all directions are magical and meditative. Once during a trip to Bali we came across a wind chime store in a temple at a high altitude. Imagine fifty wind chimes rocking in unison together. It was amazing.
• While watching a cricket or a soccer match on TV, every time the crowd goes into frenzied screams it fills me with so much excitement. After someone delivers a great performance on stage , when the entire audience goes into a deafening applause it gives one a unique feeling. Applause and cheer always lightens ones mood, though one may or may not be the recepient of the same. Well that reminds me of the moments in school and college when for various reasons one would burst into an elated 'Yay!! Hip Hip Hurrah' with friends.
• In South Indian functions like marriages there is something called 'Getti Melam'. Its a unique combination of the nadaswaram and melam (the musical instruments) thats played during significant moments like when the groom ties the knot around the bride's neck and makes her his wife. With the guests strewing blessings in the form of flower petals and atchathai (turmeric coated rice) over the couple, the rhythmic music is deafening and befitting that wonderful scene.
• My list  would be incomplete without something synonymous with hearing ;  music. Everyone likes music in some form though the tastes might be diverse. I enjoy different genres of music and what I would listen to depends on my mood, the weather(Oh yes!), my energy levels etc. There are times I like to listen to soft soothing Ilayaraja numbers and times when I would like to do a crazy jig with some A R Rahman fast number blasting away on my speakers. There are also times when M S Subbulakshmi's voice takes me to a different domain. When MTV first made its way into Indian television I did develop a fascination for Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys and other chart toppers of that time but apart from that I do not follow Western music much save the numbers I get to listen during an occasional taxi ride on radio. Music can be therapeutic, soul stirring.It sometimes provides one a momentary bliss, a peaceful solitude even when surrounded by so many things. 

I thought of clubbing Taste and Touch as well, but then it would be a really long post. Will follow up with those in another post.

Do let me know what you relate with hearing!

Happy Senses - 1

Our last edition on IndifictionWorkshop was on horror and there was a lot of talk about bringing in the five senses into the narration.This post has nothing to do with fiction or horror. All this talk made me reminisce under what circumstances each of my senses comes to life and fills me with vigor. 

Okay, I have been drinking cup after cup of Horlicks and Bournvita to get my cerebrum , hypothalamus and the rest of the folks to work in unison and come up with ideas for a new post. This is what they suggested after a lot of pushing and prodding!

Sight:

By notStudio - studio fotograficzne (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

• Sometimes in the temples, a screen would be drawn in the sanctum sanctorum  for the pujas or naivedyam(offering) hiding the deity from public view. As we wait, in a flash the curtains would be drawn open and one would witness beautiful lamps(aarthi) with multiple flames being shown as the entire place reverberates with the divine sounds of the ringing bells.
• Yesterday I cleaned up my refrigerator; Today when I opened the fridge to get some water, the clean and sparkling look sans any clutter gives me a satisfaction, an exuberant feeling of a job well done. During my programming days, after hours of struggling with a piece of code, when I saw it finally working on my monitor,  I could almost do a jig. Adding the final garnishing to a dish done perfectly, standing back and admiring a painting I just finished- Fruits of Effort are always treats to the eye.
• The cascading Niagara, rivers of the Himalayas running through the beautiful white pebbles, green still backwaters of Aleppey, the ever stretching ocean one witnesses at the beach - Water in its so many forms displays energy and strength.
• Even pigs and buffaloes look amazingly cute as babies.  All little ones, human or otherwise look so adorable when at play. A kitten playing with a ball of wool, a baby looking at a tubelight and laughing, a piglet rolling in mud, an elephant calf playing with its mother's tail - Simple beautiful sights in life.
• A foodie that I am, the widespread array of dishes one witnesses at any buffet always fills me with a happiness I have never been able to fathom. Just seeing it gives me more pleasure than actually wolfing the delicacies down my gut. 
• I know they pollute the environment but when done once in a while on a restricted basis they are a treat. Fireworks! During New Years Eve when the entire sky gets lit up with these blooming sparkling colorful stars its magical!

Smell :

Image courtesy of  Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

• Petrichor is a word I learnt recently though it is an experience that has always made me rejoice - The beautiful smell that spreads when the drops of rain first kiss the dry earth. 
• When one lifts a baby fresh from its bath after applying lotion and powdered well a beautiful fragrance sweeps all over.
• On removing a bathing soap from its carton , a wonderful smell fills your being. Not just the perfumed ones, ordinary deodorant ones do that too!
• When you go to the market to the vegetable vendor, the fresh cucumber, the green spinach, the gleaming carrots, radishes and beetroots, the sacks of potatoes and pumpkins and everything else on display together emit a fresh lovely odor. 
• I like wearing jasmine flowers on my hair in typical South Indian fashion and that can leave you feeling heavenly. 
• I already told you I am a foodie. Obviously a whole lot of related things would get my olfactory senses on a high - Sambar boiling on the stove, the smell of ghee that the sweet pongal in the making emanates, the smell of ripe mangoes and juicy watermelons, the aromas of steaming basmati rice and hot pizza and what wafts the air when something is baking and the list goes on!

To be continued....(unless I get a hate warning mail demanding that I put an end to this!)

 

Early cooking endeavors

Most of my childhood, atleast till I entered my teens was spent in Kozhikode a.k.a Calicut, a northern district in God's Own Country Kerala.

For nearly thirteen years we stayed in the same rental house. It was a three storeyed traditional Kerala style house with tiled roofs . There was a well at the back that was always filled with sweet tasting water despite the fact that we were hardly a mile away from the sea. There was a huge open space in front of the house in addition to a car shed,  which my mother used to decorate with Kolam(Rangoli) everyday.A sprawling mango tree grew in front that covered the whole of the front yard. It allowed just enough sunlight to light up the space and always kept the house cool. Apart from that there were a couple of coconut trees and a betel nut tree in the space around the house. The latter had a black pepper climber running around it.

A huge cowshed that no longer housed any animals stood between our house and the landlord's house and that used to be a primary play area for kids in the compound.

At that age I was not mature enough to appreciate the loveliness of that house. I longed to move to one of those modern concrete mosaic floored houses. Now sitting on the 4th floor of a multistorey concrete complex , with not many plants around, I would give anything to get back to such a home.

There was a huge washing stone near the well, that our maid used for washing our clothes. Every morning I would sit on that stone with the toothbrush in my hand thinking about God knows what, for almost eternity. Then my mother's 'Jaish, go brush' would slowly transform to 'You are going to be late for school, are you going to brush or not?' and I would carry on with my morning routine.

All the houses in the neighborhood had so many trees and plants and many of them housed beautiful gardens. I had so much to explore and a lot of friends to play with.

One of my favorite activities now is losing myself within the walls of my kitchen experimenting with food. Of course, the favorable results do have only a 50% probability.  My cooking interests dates back to my years in Calicut as a five or six year old. Oh, I loved pretending to cook. Three stones or brick pieces arranged  together housing some sticks was my stove. One of the easily available materials in the neighborhood was the coconut shell that served as my vessel. I would fill it up with water , add some grasses for the seasoning and place it on the make believe stove. Take an orange brick piece or a tile piece, dip it in water and rub it against a stone and it would give a red colored paste. This would add color and look to my curry on the stove.Sand mixed with water would be filled in some of the coconut shells and then turned upside down and emptied to give us what we called rice cakes. Above all, I would pluck the still young green black pepper fruits, smash them to a paste and add them to the water on my stove to give it a thick consistency. The cowshed had a guava tree and some of the yet to ripen guava fruits would also meet their end in my cooking endeavors.

Soon, the landlord came to know how his precious crops were getting sabotaged by a mischievous brat in the neighborhood and a warning came flying in my direction. Then I could not fathom what was wrong in plucking and grinding all those fruits. Now when I pay a huge sum in my supermarket bill for a mere 100g of black pepper or 3 guava fruits, I find myself reminiscing those days.

The years I spent at Calicut hold some memories very very close to my heart and yes, I had a very fulfilling  and exciting childhood in a beautiful and green town.